Find a Sex Therapist Near Me

You do not need a crisis or a partner to go. People come alone and as couples.

Couples often start when desire has faded, when one partner wants sex far more than the other, or when sex stopped after a baby, an affair, or years of stress. A sexless marriage is one of the most common reasons people reach out, and a therapist can help you talk about it without the conversation turning into a fight. Sex therapy and couples counseling overlap, and many therapists do both.

Individuals come for low desire, pain with sex, arousal or erection trouble, difficulty reaching orgasm, or a quiet worry that something is wrong with them.

Fit matters for this kind of work. Many people want a gay sex therapist or an LGBTQ-affirming counselor, a kink-positive therapist who will not judge, or someone who shares their faith, like an LDS sex therapist. Say what you want when you call. A good match makes hard conversations easier. Online sessions have also widened your options well beyond your zip code, so whether you want a sex therapist in OKC, on Long Island, or in a rural town, video visits can connect you.

Mental and sexual health are tied together. Anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and past trauma can all dampen desire. A sex therapist treats the sexual concern and will refer you to a physician when a medical cause needs ruling out.

Most sex therapists charge by the session, and many do not bill insurance directly. Here is what to plan for.

Self-pay is the common path. A single session usually runs $100 to $250, higher in big metros and for certified specialists. Couples sessions sit at the top of that range or just above because they often run longer. A full course of sex therapist sessions, often 8 to 20 visits, adds up to roughly $1,000 to $4,000.

Insurance can help, with a catch. Plans do not pay for sex therapy on their own. They pay for mental health care tied to a covered diagnosis like anxiety or depression. If your counselor is in network and can bill for that, you may owe only a $20 to $60 copay. Many sex therapists are out of network, so you pay up front and may get part of it back if your plan offers out-of-network benefits.

Ranges are typical US self-pay estimates for 2026 and vary by city, format, and the therapist's training. Insurance pays only when the visit is billed under a covered mental health diagnosis. Many sex therapists are out of network and provide a superbill for partial reimbursement.

Sex therapists work in different styles. The label matters less than the training behind it, but a few terms come up often when you read profiles.

Sex-positive therapists

A sex-positive therapist treats your desires and identity as healthy, not as a problem to fix. This approach helps if you have felt judged elsewhere, including around kink, orientation, or non-traditional relationships. It is about respect and skills, not approval.

Somatic sex therapists

A somatic sex therapist adds body-based tools, like breathing and grounding, to talk therapy. The work stays talk and skills only, with no physical contact, and can help when anxiety or old trauma seems to live in the body. You can also browse our somatic therapists page for related care.

Some counselors borrow from positive psychology, a style that builds on your strengths and positive traits rather than only your problems. Free worksheets from a site like Therapist Aid can give you a taste of that approach at home. You may also see ads for a sex coach or a surrogate. A coach is not licensed. A sex therapist surrogate, also called a surrogate partner, does physical exercises with clients and is a separate, legally murky practice that a licensed sex therapist does not provide. Do not assume the two are the same.

Our roster lists licensed mental health counselors near you, but it cannot filter by sexual-health training. That last check is on you, and it is quick.

Start with two clues. First, a current state license as a counselor, marriage and family therapist, psychologist, or clinical social worker. Second, AASECT certification, from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. A Certified Sex Therapist has finished approved coursework and supervised hours focused on sex. It is the clearest sign of real specialty training, beyond any degree or course a provider lists on a profile.

Ask these on the first call:

• How many clients do you see for concerns like mine?
• Are you AASECT certified, and what is your license number?
• Is this talk therapy only, with no physical contact?
• Do you offer video or phone sessions, and evening times?

Using a sex therapist directory

A sex therapist directory, or a platform like BetterHelp, can be a fine starting point, and so can the general sex therapist advice you read online. But a directory listing is a lead, not proof. Always confirm the license with your state board yourself before the first session.

Be careful with quick fixes. An AI sex therapist or a 24-hour sex therapist chatbot can share general information, but it cannot diagnose you, protect your privacy the way a licensed clinician does, or handle trauma. A real therapist will never have sex with you, watch you undress, or touch you sexually. If anyone suggests that, leave and report them to the state licensing board.

If sexual trauma, abuse, or thoughts of suicide come up, you deserve immediate support. Call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline any time, day or night, for free and confidential help while you set up ongoing care.

Do sex therapists perform sex?

No. A licensed sex therapist never has sexual contact with a client. Sessions are talk only, fully clothed, with no physical exam. Any therapist who suggests otherwise is acting illegally and should be reported to their state licensing board.

Who is the most famous sex therapist?

Dr. Ruth Westheimer is probably the most famous sex therapist, known for her radio and TV advice. Fame is not the same as the right credentials for you, though. When you pick someone, check for a state license and AASECT certification, not name recognition.

What do sex therapist salaries tell you about cost?

Not much for your bill. Sex therapist salaries vary widely by region, license, and whether someone runs a private practice. What actually shapes your cost is the self-pay rate, usually $100 to $250 a session, and whether your insurance can cover the visit under a mental health diagnosis.

Does insurance cover sex therapy?

Sometimes. Insurance does not pay for sex therapy by itself, but it may cover sessions billed under a mental health diagnosis like anxiety or depression. Ask if the therapist is in network and whether they can give you a superbill to submit for reimbursement.

Can I see a sex therapist online?

Yes. Video sessions work well for most concerns and widen your options well beyond your zip code. Free chat tools and an AI sex therapist can offer general information, but they are not a substitute for a licensed clinician when you have a real problem.

How do I find a qualified sex therapist near me?

Look for a state-licensed counselor, marriage and family therapist, psychologist, or social worker, ideally with AASECT certification. Search by specialty and city above to see licensed counselors near you, then verify each one's license with your state board before booking.

What is an AASECT certified sex therapist?

AASECT is the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. A Certified Sex Therapist is already a licensed mental health professional who completed approved coursework and supervised hours focused on sexual health. It is the clearest sign of real specialty training.

What if sex brings up trauma or thoughts of self-harm?

You deserve fast, judgment-free help. Call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline any time for free, confidential support. A sex therapist trained in trauma can then help you work through it safely over time, and will refer you to a physician if a medical cause needs ruling out.